I have changed 2 hideous diapers for Ashton today and I have to be honest - they were horrifying. Sure, zombies and chain saws are scary but true horror is what I faced with only some wet towels. There wasn't even the usual scary music to clue me in on what was coming.
This leads me to my point. How is it that, when I can hardly stand to be in the same room as my cute but severely odorific (not a real word but it should be) son, he is smiling jovially up at me. I am gagging and he is chanting "diaper rash". (Which does not mean a less than pleasant skin irritation on the less than pleasant part of his anatomy. What he means is "diaper trash" as in, Can I please put my own diaper in the trash? To which I answer, yes please and thank all the saints in heaven that I don't have to around this little gem any longer than is absolutely necessary.)
Sorry, I digress.
Why is it that I am practically retching from the stench and he can grab the offensive bundle of nasty and tuck it under his arm like a pro wide-receiver? This, of course, keeps it safe from all those 200 pound 2 year olds who are trying to force the fumble thereby retrieving the effects of the more than adequate, workings of his inner bowel. Seriously, due to the fact that he has shorter arms and torso and an overly large cranium (don't all toddlers?) his cradling of the cr** puts it just 3 inches from his nose. How is he still alive?!?
This is my question. This is what I think about when the temp hits 110. Okay, honestly, this is what I think of regardless of the temp. It is hard to be me.
8 comments:
I believe the word you were searching for was "odoriferous." And yes, it is hard to be you. And me. We're together in perfect harmony.... Wait. Now I digress. But seriously, if I had stopped to consider all the bodily excretions I would have to deal with as a mother, I may have reconsidered. Why do our bodies stink so much? That's a question to ask when we die. Right up there with "What's the deal with the dinosaurs" and "Did Adam have a bellybutton?"
Caleb is obsessed with disposing of all dirty diapers in the house - from my point of view, train 'em young in the helping around the house bit, especially boys, my brothers did/do NOTHING!!
Also, you're right about the smell, how do they not offend themselves?
The olfactory nerve must not be developed until after 2 years old. And I say that in all my wisdom in the health care field. And I also say, "Eeewwww, gross!!!"
Sometimes I ask Alex "do you smell that?" and he sniffs and says "eeeew, goss". So I know he smells it, I just don't think he thinks it is him...
And on a slightly nastier note, I think it is like when you or anyone does their business. You don't smell as bad to you as others do. :)
Love you guys. I was so glad to spend time with you last weekend.
Okay I am in tears because I am laughing so hard. First because I completely & totally relate & 2nd because I kept on reading your other entries...I have been a bad bad blog reader & DYING on the stomach flu romantic exchange. Tears Heather, Tears! Oh, I miss you. When am I going to see you! I'm calling you...really soon to finally catch up for real! Love ya
I know you were just in UT, but I am going to be there the entire month of July except for a quick trip to Chandler to visit my grandmother. Maybe we can see you in Phoenix on our way out of Chandler?
Heather, I've tagged you. Read my blog to see!
I didn't think diapers were that big of a deal until we started adding real food to his diet. What a difference a few peas make!!!
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